Owning my sin

Dan and I were driving home from JCPenney on Saturday when he hit me with, "Ya' know...I've noticed that we've been fighting a lot more since your sister left." (We were blessed to have my little sister, Paige, stay with us for the summer).

I thought for a moment and responded in a bit of confusion, "Really? I can't remember us fighting. I mean, I've been kinda crabby, but--"

"--well...you're right," he said. "It has been mostly you, but I didn't want to make you feel like I was attacking you. You haven't exactly been 'slow to anger' this week."

"Slow to anger" referencing the verse that I had been memorizing all week, "The Lord is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love."

Irritated, I gave him the silent treatment until we returned home. We went out to dinner with friends and all was forgotten.

Until Sunday morning came along.

As we sang "Depth of Mercy," our worship pastor asked us to take a moment to read and pray the words to verse two before we sang it:

Give me grace Lord let me own
All the wrongs that I have done
Let me now my sins deplore
Look to You and sin no more
There for me the Savior stands
Holding forth His wounded hands
Scars which ever cry for me
Once condemned but now set free

"Give me grace, Lord. Let me own all the wrongs that I have done."

Boom. Convicted.

I poured over those words again and again, realizing all the sin that I had not been owning that week. The fact of the matter was that I had been very quick to anger, and I had been making excuses for myself. Instead of owning my sin, I had been denying it.

As I read those words, I slipped into condemnation. Muttering words against myself as the music played...

Hypocrite.

Sinner.

Fake.

Failure.

And as I muttered these words, we began to sing the second half of verse two...

There for me the Savior stands
Holding forth His wounded hands
Scars which ever cry for me
Once condemned but now set free

As I sang those last words, the Holy Spirit reminded me that "There is therefore now no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." - Romans 8:1

No more condemnation...it's a fine balance, isn't it?

Owning our sin can be difficult enough. But then once we've owned it, we must always remember that Christ paid the debt for it. It's done. Over with. Ha finito.

"There is therefore now no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

What a Savior.