Martha, Martha, Martha!

I'm linking up with Women Living Well Wednesdays today. Make sure to check out some of the other great blog posts if you have a moment!

I'll never forget when we hosted our very first formal, "non-family" dinner gathering at our home. I wanted it to be perfect, but it ended up a complete DISASTER!

I had just come home from a long day of work, and I had nothing prepared. Our company showed up, and I wanted to curl into a ball and cry as I looked around my kitchen--a sink full of dirty dishes, garbage can overflowing, raw chicken breasts that should have been cooked, potatoes that needed mashing, vegetables that still needed to be chopped and steamed.

Our company saw that I was overwhelmed and graciously offered to help in the kitchen. The men helped with the dishes and potato mashing while the women helped me chop vegetables and mash potatoes. Dinner was supposed to be on the table by 6, but it didn't end up on the table until 7:30, leaving us little time for fun and fellowship afterwards.

I was so concerned with impressing our company that I ended up embarassing myself and making others uncomfortable. I did anything BUT welcome them into my home. The problem: I was more concerned with my appearance than with my company's experience.

Martha, Martha, Martha!

In the book of Luke, we read...

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.' But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'"

I am naturally SUCH a Martha. I want everything to be just right for company. I love fine china, tea services, and 5-course meals. My idea of "welcoming" people is giving them the finest dining experience they've ever had.

Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with wanting people to have a great experience in your home. Everyone loves feeling pampered, right? But it becomes wrong when we miss out on the important relational aspect of hospitality. When we lose sight of the very people we are trying to welcome.

Let's take a quick look at Martha. There she was, trying to give Jesus a feast fit for a king, when in reality, all he wanted was her love, attention and adoration. Martha's intentions may have been entirely pure, but she lost sight of what was really important...the relationship.

For the past two years, I have tried to incorporate more of Mary's characteristics into my hostessing, purposing to keep relationships at the center of my hospitality ministry. I've picked up a few tips along the way and hope that they'll bless you as they have blessed me...

1) Create a vision statement for your homemaking ministry and post it in your home.

I came up with this vision statement a few months ago and posted it on my fridge as a constant reminder:

I (clean/cook/host) so that my home will a be 1) a safe haven for my family, 2) a place where others feel welcome in the name of Christ, and 3) a household that serves the LORD.

I encourage you to give it a try!

2) The crockpot is your friend.

On Sunday, we had 18 people over for lunch. The "Martha" in me would have been completely freaked out at the prospect of having 18 people over right after church. But "Mary" has found a couple great crockpot recipes that are especially great for company after church. Throw it in the crockpot over night, simmer on low, and voila! It's ready to go when the after-church crowd floods in:)

It may not be an gourmet meal, but it does the job and allows me to spend time building relationships with the people I invited into our home. After all, that's why we invite people over, isn't it?

3) Allow others to bless you.

This was such a tough lesson for me to learn, but I think I'm finally getting the hang of it! "Martha" Chelsea would have been dead set on doing everything herself! She would have (pridefully) thought, "I invited you over, so that means I need to do this all by myself!" But "Mary" has learned that it's okay to allow others to bless her. Whether it's a dessert, a quick stop for a bag of ice, or help with the dishes, it's okay to let others help. Really. And now that I'm getting the hang of this, I'm finding that some of the best relational times are spent in the kitchen cleaning up WITH my guests.

4) Drink stations will rock your world.

My husband makes fun of me for my "drink stations," but I LOVE 'em. As a little kid, I always hated when my mom would send me into the living room to ask all of our guests what they wanted to drink. Halfway to the kitchen, I would inevitably forget and have to turn around and ask again! I'm the same way today. As a hostess, you have a million things going through your mind (Oh no...Did I forget to clean the toilet bowl?) and remembering everyone's drink orders can be stressful and time consuming. By setting up a drink station (water, soda, ice, glasses), you make your guests to feel welcome by allowing them to fill up their glass whenever they need more (not when you get around to filling it), and you also relieve yourself of undue stress. You can also set up a do-it-yourself coffee/tea service with dessert. Set up a tray with cream, sugar, tea bags, and stirrers/spoons and have your guests help themselves!

5) Have a few go-to recipes and ingredients on hand.

I have about five "go-to" recipes for company that I can whip up pretty easily and quickly: crockpot italian beef, meatball (bomber) sandwiches, chili, taco bar, and spaghetti. I often keep 1-lb. bags of pre-cooked ground beef in the freezer for chili, tacos, and spaghetti and pre-cooked meatballs for bomber sandwiches. I also try to have red sauce and pasta in my pantry at all times in case we have any "surprise guests" (I firmly believe that spaghetti is God's answer to those surprise house guests!).

What are your "go-to" recipes? Don't have any? Try to think of 3-5, including at least one (like spaghetti) that won't break the bank! For an excellent spaghetti recipe, check out Noel Piper's book "Treasuring God in our Traditions."

6) Give yourself a half hour.

This was one of my first lessons in hostessing. In my mind, I thought, "I'll just get everything done and then go freshen up." But then my company (thankfully family!) showed up 20 minutes early to a frazzled, unshowered hostess. Now, I schedule a half an hour "prep time" for myself starting at least one hour before our guests arrive. During that half hour, I leave my hubby with a few last minute jobs which is a great help.

7) Have a plan.

When we hosted our family Thanksgiving just months after getting married, I was scared to death that I would forget something! So, the night before, I marked all my recipes with sticky notes, gathered all the dry ingredients for each recipe, set out serving bowls and utensils for each dish, and made a schedule (in 15 minute increments) for the following day. It was a HUGE help, and I have never looked back!

8) Keep Christ at the center of your hospitality.

This is my biggest encouragement to you as you welcome people into your home...keep Christ at the center. The single most important motivating force behind our love towards others should be Christ's love towards us. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because he first loved us."

Your guests should be able to see the evidence of Christ's love in your home. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when trying to determine if Christ is at the center of your hospitality: How are interacting with your husband or children? Do you do more talking than listening? Are you concerned about your appearance or your guest's experience? What dominates your conversation--heavenly things or earthly things? Are you demonstrating your love for and hope in the gospel? Once you've answered these questions, pray and ask God to help you with any trouble areas you might have.

Here's my prayer...

Lord, I pray that you would make me like Mary...content to sit at your feet. Make my home a place that puts your gospel on display. God, help me to put away my selfish desires so that I might love others better. And through my love, may all who enter into my home experience YOUR great love. Thank you for inviting me into your kingdom and welcoming me in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Have any hospitality tips? Please share in the comments below!

Photo attributed to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mjparnell/435465575/

Finding joy in the gospel

Today I'm linking up with Women Living Well Wednesdays.

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Back in January, I made the following resolution...

This year, be it resolved, that I, Chelsea Kathleen Stanley, will pursue joyfulness.

Six months have passed since then.

So how's that going for you, Chels?

Well, I am pleased to report that today, I am a more joyful person than I was six months ago. And it's not because of these sub-resolutions that I came up with back in January to help me get there. It's because of my new found love of the gospel.

Photo credit

Back in November, Dan and I made the heartwrenching decision to leave our home church.

Heartwrenching because of the history we had there. Dan grew up in that church. We spent our dating years growing together there. We were married there.

Heartwrenching because of the people we loved (and still love!) there. Both of our biological families attended that church, and the people there had become a second family to us, especially during the trials that we had experienced during our first year of marriage.

Heartwrenching because of the sin of our (biological) family that made us leave more swiftly than anticipated.

Heartwrenching because it was a Bible-believing, Christ-exalting church that had taught us so much, yet we knew that God was calling us away.

Just heartwrenching.

But God takes our heartache and turns it into joy!

As hard as it was to leave our old church, we have found a new home in Crossway Community Church, and I am so thankful to God for leading us there.

I am thankful for two (main) reasons:

1) Crossway has helped me to appreciate and love the gospel more.
2) This love for the gospel leads to a contageous joy, and I've caught it!

Let me explain...

Growing up I had always believed the gospel (or "good news" of Jesus Christ). I knew that I was a sinner. I knew that the penalty for sin is death. I knew that Jesus died that death on the cross for me. I knew that he had saved me. But in my mind, the gospel was almost a one-time thing. You believed it once. It saved you once. You're done with it, so you pass it along to someone else.

But now, it's totally different.

Now, I try to preach the gospel to myself every day. Today, I realize that I need to constantly remind myself of the wonderful grace and mercy of the gospel story.

So when I come home to a house full of laundry and dishes, and I catch myself becoming resentful towards my role as a wife, I preach the gospel to myself.

Christ loved sacrificially. Now it's your turn. Live the gospel.

Or when I'm beating myself up for sins of the past, feeling trapped in sorrow and despair, I preach the gospel to myself.

Christ paid the price for that sin, Chelsea. He has set you free through His gospel.

Or when I'm dealing with trials and circumstances, and I catch myself slipping into anxiety or depression, I preach the gospel to myself.

Sure, today's circumstances are bad, but think of all the goodness you have in the gospel.

I love, love, love the gospel! And this new found love...it makes my heart overflow with joy.

I am happier. I am calmer. I am content in the gospel.

Joy inexpressable.

Pure joy.



If you want to read up more on this whole "gospel" thing, head on over to The Gospel Coalition website. It's a great resource!

He's been faithful...

Yesterday, Dan and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary!

Two years ago, we came before God, and he made us one flesh. Two sinners saved by the grace of God joined together as a symbol of Christ's relationship with his church.

Praise God!

Ever since D-Day, I have found myself rejoicing in anniversaries, and yesterday, it was my turn to celebrate our anniversary and to praise God for all that he hasdone in our marriage over the past two years.

And boy, do I have a lot to praise him for.

Two years ago, I stood on a stage with the man who I now call my husband. Young, in love, we eagerly exchanged our vows, ready to embark on this journey we call "marriage."

To have and to hold.

Little did we know that there would be nights when Dan would literally have to hold me for hours as I wept at the sin that had torn my family apart...

For better or for worse.

Nor did I know that the next two years would be two of the worst years of my life...

In sickness and in health.

Battling anxiety and depression. Sometimes even struggling to get myself out of bed in the morning...

To love and to cherish.

Learning that love is truly a choice, and that if you don't fight for it, it can be lost in the blink of an eye...

Until death do us part.

Not knowing that this last vow would be broken by my own parents just a year later and would rock our world.

After we exchanged our rings, we turned to light the unity candle. Wrapped up in the moment, I blew mine out before I was able to light the unity candle. To this day, we still joke about how Dan had to re-light it.

But as I think back on that moment, it's quite poetic, really. A beautiful picture of our first two years of marriage. So many doubts. So many restless nights. So many tears. So many times my flame blew out, but my dear sweet Daniel offered me his shoulder, his ear, his strength, his flame.

And even more importantly, he pointed me back to the source of all of our strength, and light, and hope. He pointed me to Christ.

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

-Isaiah 40:28-31

When I am weak, my bridegroom is strong. When I am weary, he carries me. When I am burdened, he lightens my load. When my flame has been extinguished, he lights my path.

And as we joined our candles into one, a song began. Yesterday, tears streamed down my face as I watched our wedding video and listened to these words, even more true today...

In my moments of fear,
Through Every Pain Every Tear
There's A God Who's Been Faithful To Me

When My Strength Was All Gone
When My Heart Had No Song
Still In Love He's Proved Faithful To Me

Every Word He's Promised Is True
What I Thought Was Impossible
I've Seen My God Do

He's Been Faithful
Faithful To Me
Looking Back His Love And Mercy I See
Though In My Heart I Have Questioned Even Failed To Believe
Yet He's Been Faithful, Faithful To Me

When My Heart Looked Away
The Many Times I Could Not Pray
Still My God He Was Faithful To Me

The Days I Spent So Selfishly
Reaching Out For What Pleased Me
Even Then God Was Faithful To Me

Every Time I Come Back To Him
He Is Waiting With Open Arms
And I See Once Again
He's Been Faithful
Faithful To Me
Looking Back His Love And Mercy I See
Though In My Heart I Have Questioned
Even Failed To Believe
Yet He's Been Faithful, Faithful To Me

We couldn't have picked a more appropriate song to begin our marriage with. Through it all, he has been faithful. And the love and mercy that my earthly husband has so graciously bestowed upon me over these past two years has been a sweet glimpse of my true bridegroom's unfailing love for us.

Today I'm linking up with Women Living Well for Women in the Word Wednesday.

Heal the wound, but leave the scar...

What a beautiful song...

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

A royal wedding

I can't believe I'm blogging at 3:30 AM. This is a first!

I didn't plan on waking up to watch "The Royal Wedding," but my heart has been pounding since 2:00 AM, and I haven't been able to sleep, so I decided to go ahead and watch history in the making!

Last night, when I told Dan that I wanted to DVR the wedding, he replied with "Why? It's just a stupid wedding!" I got defensive and told him that it's "romantic" and "beautiful" and that all weddings "symbolize Christ and His Church!" At that point, he challenged me to write a gospel-centered blog post on the royal wedding. Love you, honey...and I accept your challenge.

As I was laying in bed at 2 AM, I started thinking about why I'm so excited about this wedding. And even more, why are an expected 2 BILLION viewers so excited about "just a stupid wedding?"

And as I thought about it, I realized that we're wired for this. We are wired for fairytale romance.

Think about our favorite fairytales...

Snow White.

Snow White eats a piece of fruit given to her by her stepmother in disguise. The fruit causes her to "fall asleep" and only true love's kiss from a prince will awake her from her slumber.

Sound familiar?

Romans 5:12-16

"Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned— for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.

But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man's trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the result of that one man's sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ."

Then there's Sleeping Beauty. Pretty similar story line. Aurora, who has fallen asleep, receives a kiss from her prince, and comes awake to live happily ever after.














I think I've heard that one before too.

Ephesians 5:14- "...Awake, O Sleeper! And arise
from the dead! And Christ will shine on you."

And now, at 4:00 AM, I await the royal wedding of Prince William & Catherine Middleton. Kate, who will drive up in a car as a commoner and will leave a princess, just by way of marrying her prince.

This is just too easy, babe.

Ephesians 2: 4-10

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Yes, we're wired for fairytale romance, my dear sweet husband. We're wired for fairytale romance because we were CREATED for fairytale romance. We came into this world commoners. We were born as "Kates," but our bridegroom, Christ, has come to our rescue. He has awaken us from slumber with true love's kiss (humbling himself to death on a cross), he has designed our gown of righteousness, and has changed our position, so that we are now "Princess Catherines." We eat this "stupid wedding" stuff up because we were made for it.

How romantic is that!?

As I watch Prince William walk into the ceremony, I am entirely too excited about his royal wedding story, but I am much more excited about mine. Our royal wedding story, as the bride of Christ...

Revelations 19: 6-8

"Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

'Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure'—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints."

Oh, what a glorious royal wedding that will be!

And the best part?

We are promised a "happily ever after."

Now that's a royal wedding.

The man at the foot of the bridge...

I skipped along the wayward path,
curls bouncing in the breeze.
I smiled, not knowing where I went
amidst the forest trees.

I came upon a wooden bridge,
swaying to and fro.
Skipping, skipping, all the way,
whilst the winds did blow.

But as I skipped, I heard a voice
calling out my name.
I quickly turned and saw the man
from which the calling came.

With open arms, he called again,
"Come back, my child!" he said.
"This pathway is not safe for you.
Follow me, instead."

There was something about him I couldn't resist.
Strange, yet familiar was he.
Barefoot, I pattered across that old bridge,
For with him, I wanted to be.

I tugged on his robe, and he lifted me up,
Swinging me, 'round and around.
Laughing, rejoicing with tears in his eyes,
His lost little girl was now found.

And just as we turned away from the bridge,
Lo! The ground started to shake.
Holding me tight, we looked back at that bridge
as it crumbled and started to break.

My head on his chest, I started to weep,
as the rotten bridge gave way.
I knew not where I went, nor the path I was on,
without knowing, I'd fallen astray.

But the man who was holding me tight to his chest,
wiped my tears from my cheek as he said,
"You're safe, little one. You have no more to fear.
Come awake, child! You're no longer dead."

"For I knew you before you took your first steps,
and I knew on which path you were bound.
But in love, I came down and saved you from grief
so my mercy and grace would abound."

We turned and he showed me a narrower path
and told me to "Run well the race."
At nightfall, he told me he had to go home,
but he was leaving a friend in his place.

Now all grown up, I remember that man,
and I thank him again and again
For saving that blonde little curly head girl,
from eternal torment and pain.

Today, as I walk down the narrow path,
with the friend that he left at my side,
I thank him for saving that little blonde girl,
so that one day, with Him, I'll abide.

My fleece of unfaithfulness

I know I ended my last post asking you to stay tuned for Installment #2 of the Beloved Story (if you found yourself asking what Beloved is, you can read Installment #1 here). But before I get to that, I need to take a slight detour...

The past two weeks or so have been spiritually rough to say the least. I've felt alone and out of touch with God. I've been in the Word, I've prayed, I've fasted, I've worshipped, I've wept, but I've felt like God has been silent. I have tried to sit down and hammer out the details for Beloved, but haven't felt any direction or inspiration. I have begged Him for guidance in choosing the board of directors for the ministry, but I'm no further today than I was a month ago. I've been feeling like everything's been at a standstill.

So last night, when a friend asked me how she could pray for me, what followed was a whiny, self-loathing mess of a response... "...While I'm enjoying reading through the bible in a year, I am yearning for in depth reading that is more "applicable" to my life right now. I know that all of God's word is living and breathing in my head and heart, but I'm having a really hard time taking away anything from my daily reading. The old testament is full of good stuff, but I'm just frustrated. How do Joshua's battles have anything to do with me trying to discern who I should ask to be involved with Beloved or where we should go to church? I feel like I need more direct guidance and as though God is just being silent. My husband has encouraged me to do some in depth reading right now, but I'm already behind in my chronological plan, so I feel like any time I have needs to be spent catching up."

It didn't seem that bad when I wrote it. After all, it's how I felt, not what I believed. But then this morning, the Holy Spirit hit me with the story of Gideon.

Now, to be honest, if I wasn't reading through the Bible in a year, I probably would have never turned to Judges for counsel or guidance. But, that's where God had me today, and for that, I'm grateful. I had heard the story of Gideon a few times. When I was trying to decide where to go to college, I remember my elderly neighbor encouraging me to "put out a fleece." Since then, I've heard other Christians use the phrase on a handful of occasions, but I had never sat down and actually read the story of Gideon. It goes a little something like this...

The people of Israel did what was evil in God's sight (again!), and God allowed Midian to oppress them. When they cried out to God for deliverance, the angel of the LORD came to Gideon and told him that he, Gideon, would single-handedly strike down the Midianites. Gideon responded, "If now I have found favor in your eyes, then show me a sign that it is you who speaks with me." God, being the patient and merciful God that he is, gave Gideon his sign (a consuming fire springing up from a rock). After seeing the fire, Gideon was pretty much freaked out since he thought he had seen the angel of the LORD face to face. But the LORD said to him "Peace be to you. Do not fear; you shall not die."

Later on (I'm skipping part of the story here for time's sake), Gideon said to God, "If you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said, behold, I am laying a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece alone, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you have said."

Okay, Gideon, I thought. You just spoke directly with God. Why do you need another sign?

But God, being the patient and merciful God that He is, gave him his wet fleece.

Surely you'll believe God now, Gideon. Right?

Wrong.

Right after he was wringing out the fleece, he turned around and asked God to do it again.

"Just once more, God. Pretty please?"

And once again, our gracious, merciful God gave him his wet fleece.

At this point in the story, I became angry. Hold up. I thought. I always though putting out a fleece was a sign of faith. Gideon saw God and spoke to him directly. God assured him that he would deliver Israel from the Midianites through Gideon. Why couldn't he just take Him at his word? This isn't a fleece of faith! It's really a fleece of unfaithfulness."

And then I realized...I am Gideon. And the Holy Spirit convicted me of my fleece of unfaithfulness. I have been sitting here, waiting for some sort of "sign" from God. An email. A phone call. A bolt of lightning. Some thing that will give me direction in this ministry.

But what I've failed to embrace is that God has already equipped me through his word...

"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." - 1 Timothy 3:16-17

God speaks directly to me through His word. And what's more, his Spirit is alive in me. I don't need a fleece. I need to have faith in the Word of God. And as I came to realize that truth, God, being the patient and merciful God that He is, spoke to me through his Word. And not just through a verse or a short passage, but through five books of the Old Testament and hundreds of years of history.

More on that next time, but for now, I leave you with this...