Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Today I'm linking up with Women Living Well Wednesdays.


I have always been moved by song.

This week, I heard "While I'm Waiting" on positive, encouraging K-Love, and I was (surprise, surprise) brought to tears...

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

It's a time of waiting right now in my household.

Waiting to start a family.

Waiting on God to lead us to a new church.

Waiting for graduate school to be over and done with.

Waiting...waiting...patiently waiting.

It's painful. But I wait.

And while I'm waiting...

I will serve Him.

I will invest in the people he has placed in my life.

I will work heartily as unto the Lord.

I will allow the Holy Spirit to prepare me for motherhood (Lord willing).

I will worship.

I will use this time to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ.

I will devote myself to the reading of His word and to prayer.

I will give thanks for the countless blessings He has bestowed upon me.

I will not faint.

I will lean wholly on His strength.

I will live and move and breathe in Him.

I will keep moving...taking each day one step at a time. Obediently. Purposefully.

Though it's not easy, He will be my comfort, my peace.

Faithfully, I wait.

Isaiah 40: 28-31

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

I will worship while I'm waiting on you, Lord.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

For Good

Today, I'm linking up with Good Morning, Girls! Women in the Word Wednesday. Quick note: I am not doing the James study. I've been doing a chronological Bible reading plan, so I was in Genesis/Exodus this past week.

For the past week or so, I've been reading the story of Joseph. Every time I read this story, I marvel at these words...

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today."

Isn't that just like our God?

We all have had "Joseph" moments. Moments when we feel abandoned by our loved ones. Moments when we feel like a prisoner with no hope. Moments of helplessness. Moments of sorrow. Moments of despair.

But what man intends for evil, God means for good.

Lately, I have been haunted by a sin from my past. A boy from my past.

During my sophomore year in college, I felt like Joseph. My long-term boyfriend (now husband) and I had broken up, I had dropped my music major, and I felt like I had no idea where I was headed in life.

About a week before Valentines' Day, a good friend of mine suggested that I go out to dinner with a guy from our dorm. He, too, had broken up with his high school sweetheat. And misery loves company, right?

I didn't see the harm in one date, so I agreed.

One date turned into two, two turned into three. He fascinated me. His heart for the sick and poor was beautiful. His respect for his family was evident. He was planning on becoming a doctor and he loved music. What wasn't there to love? Our pity date quickly snowballed into something more than either of us had intended.

But it was an ungodly relationship, and I knew it. He wasn't a Christian. He wasn't even an "Easter/Christmas" Christian. He was a devout Muslim. He worshipped Allah. I worshiped the one true God. He saw Jesus as a "good prophet". I saw him as my Savior and King. He believed good works would make him right with his God. I could only boast in the grace of my own.

Yet...we were both lonely.

Things went too fast...progressing much quicker than any normal relationship. We both had huge cups that needed to be filled. We were running full speed ahead, until, not more than one month later, I hit my breaking point.

I couldn't talk to my Christian friends at school. Most had already condemned me. I couldn't talk to my parents. I was ashamed. I called the only person I knew would help me through this.

My dear sweet Daniel.

We hadn't talked for months. Dan didn't want us to act like we were dating if we weren't. I totally get that now. But by the grace of God, he answered his phone that night.

He listened. He prayed. God used him to grant me peace.

He determined that night that he had to be in my life as my brother in Christ. And that night, one destructive relationship ended as another beautiful friendship began.

We had dated for almost four years prior to that night, but for some reason, that phone call marked a new beginning for us. We grew in our friendship, and six months later, we would start dating again...and just about six months after that, he would propose...and twelve months (on the dot!) after that...he would be my lawfully wedded husband.

God meant it for good.

Fast forward to a few months ago when we were up at Northwestern College visiting my sister and attending the Desiring God Conference, and we ended up going to a Christian concert.

Between sets, the front man for one of the bands talked about Compassion International. Ever since I had dated that "boy from my past," my heart was set on adopting a little boy from India. God had used him to give me a heart for the children of India, especially young men. He had given me a deep burden for the lost in India--and a desire to help meet both their physical and spiritual needs. That night, my prayers were answered. Dan had known my desire for quite some time, and when we saw that there were children from India that needed sponsors, we decided to sponsor our first child...a now twelve-year-old boy named Sujin.

God meant it for good.

Yesterday, I was brought to tears reading this post from A Holy Experience and was reminded of the precious little boy who God has placed in our life. I went to a pile of old mail and found our first letter from Sujin and poured over it again and again...

I am very happy that you are going to be sponsors. You are [sic] support is making it possible for me to attend the child development centre where I am receiving tutoring and learning about Jesus. Thanks for your support. May God bless you.

Thanking you, with love,


God meant it for good.

I sat down and wrote him a "Happy Birthday!" letter, picturing his face when he receives our note. And when I laid my head on the pillow, I prayed. I prayed...

...That he would grow deeper in the knowledge of our savior.

...That he would fall more in love with Him each day.

...That he would become a man after God's own heart.

...That we will meet in heaven one day.

And I thanked God. With my whole being, I thanked him.

For God meant it for good.

Isn't that just like our God?